


Stringed up

by Blackstarsabove



Series: Frayed Threads [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Eivor (Assassin's Creed), Mentions of/Hints at Rape/Non-Con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27740575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackstarsabove/pseuds/Blackstarsabove
Summary: [Minor Spoilers for how Ivarr got his scar, no story related spoilers]Instead of just making an example of Ivarr and sending him on his way, Rhodri decides to keep him as a prisoner.Then one day he meets Eivor.
Relationships: Eivor/Ivarr Ragnarsson
Series: Frayed Threads [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029225
Comments: 30
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcome and much appreciated 💕  
> Hope you enjoy this first chapter

The mood on the ship was sour, Ivarr could tell simply by looking at his raiders' faces.  
They had all taken quite a beating without much to show for it and while his own body ached from their misadventure on the Western Isle he knew that if he wished to keep his crew satisfied they'd have to find some plunder on their way home. 

They were sailing along the coast when Ivarr spotted a good place for landing just a little further ahead. 

The promise of blood and silver lightened his own sultry mood a little and when he raised his axe, commanding his crew to make land, cheers filled the cold winter air. 

They were just dragging the ships ashore when a cry sounded from atop one of the hills.  
Ivarr squinted, trying to make out who it was coming from but with the thick fog surrounding them it was hard to tell.  
Only once it had cleared a little, Ivarr could make out the line of Britons on the hill opposite them.  
"I am Rhodri, king of this land.", the biggest of them called out, his voice carrying on the wind.  
A smirk pulled at Ivarr's lips.  
"That means shit to me", he screamed back, drawing a laugh from some of his men.  
He gave them a small nod and together they raised their axes, ready for battle. 

They attacked before the Britons had a chance to react.  
They had the numbers and the skills  
But all that mattered little when the bog encased their boots, slowing them down until they were trapped, easy prey for this king Rhodri and his men.

Ivarr watched as most of his drengir died a swift but honarable death and standing there on this unnamed field in this unimportant place Ivarr was readying to join them on their way to Valhalla.  
It was not the glorious death that he had hoped for and it had come earlier than he had anticipated but none of that mattered given where he would go after.  
When he closed his eyes and focused he could almost hear the Valkiries. They had come for him and his warriors.  
In his mind he was already there, looking upon the red and gold leaves of Glasir, he could see Eikthyrnir and Heidrun but when he opened his eyes again all he found was corpses and mud.  
He was trapped, facing a dozen men all on his own but he still fought and won against every single one of them. He was lighter and faster than them but on this muddy ground he found himself growing tired quickly and when more warriors stepped through the fog he knew that he wouldn't last.  
He had no regrets. If this was how he was meant to die then he would face the end bravely, axe in hand.

But his weapons were taken from him as two men forced him onto his knees in the dirt.  
He cursed them, screamed and fought against them with all his remaining strength but it was useless and eventually he was forced into submission.

Rhodri approached him then, a smirk on his ugly face as he grabbed a handful of Ivarr's hair, forcing his head back in a painful angle so as to make the warrior look up at him.

The Ragnarsson smirked, even spat at Rhodri. He would not show any fear.  
The king wiped his face and in a fit of rage he dragged his dagger across Ivarr's face, leaving behind a long and painful cut, reaching from his scalp all the way to his cheek.  
Ivarr didn't scream, didn't cry, didn't even whimper.  
He didn't make a single sound because this was his last chance to see Odin's hall and Rhodri would surely send him there now.

But the king did nothing of the sort. He pulled at Ivarr's hair, watching as the viking's face contorted into a grimace of pain.  
Warm red blood dripped from the cut, Ivarr's whole face feeling as though it were on fire but if he held on a little longer he would feast in Valhalla soon. That was all that was on his mind when he spat at Rhodri again, growling. 

Rhodri watched him intently for a while, not saying a word.  
"I should send you back. Make an example of you so that your people won't make the same mistake as you but no... I do not think I will do that.", he paused, letting go of Ivarr's face to grab his chin.  
"He would make a fine slave, don't you think?", this question was directed at his men and earned quite a few affirming nods.  
Ivarr found himself wishing for death.  
He could not hide his shock this time and Rhodri smiled when he saw. 

Slavery was the worst fate. He was a Ragnarsson, he was distined to live a glorious life and die an honerable death. Now he would have none of that. 

"Tie him up", Rhodri ordered, smirking as Ivarr tried desperately to get free to no avail, "tightly."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eivor meets Ivarr for the first time

The setting sun drowned the land in hues of red and orange, a sight that Eivor was sure he'd never grow tired of.  
There was just something about how the light looked on the bright green leaves of the tall trees, how it glistened on the cristal clear surface of the rivers and streams, that was so different from how it had reflected of the endless sea of snow back home in Norway.  
Even when there hadn't been any snow covering the ground it had always been dull, familiar, boring. 

England seemed to be so much more alive, so full of possibilities, of things to learn, places to explore and people to meet.  
Stepping onto this new land had felt like being reborn and he hoped that his wonder would never cease. 

But with that wonder come uncertainty.  
Here they had to build their future, their reputation, on their own. They had to build their settlement up from scratch, had to figure out a trading system and form new alliances. 

That was why he was here now, riding through the golden fields and peaceful villages, across the grassy plains and green hills of Sciropescire to meet a king.  
A king with debts.  
Forming an alliance would be easy enough. King Rhodri needed silver, silver the Raven Clan was willing to offer in exchange for an oath. 

Eivor sighed as he spurred on his horse once more. He had traveled quite some time now, coming here right after his business in Granterbridgescire was taken care of. Now he could finally see the castle in the distance.  
But something didn't sit right with him.  
While he enjoyed exploring new places, he had a rather strange feeling about this castle and the man it belonged to.  
It was just an instinct, one he brushed off just like he always did. Sigurd would never endanger him. 

Just as the last of the sunlight had disappeared behind the mountains, Eivor reached the main gate where soldiers and stable hands stood, ready for his arrival.  
He dismounted with ease, petting his mare's neck before leaving her with the stable boy in order to follow the soldiers inside the castle. 

The halls were stony and cold, so unlike the warm, comforting wood of the longhouse he was used to.  
All around him were various statues of dragons but he hardly had time to get a closer look at them as he was led through the hallways until they reached a tall wooden door that lead to a rather impressive dining hall.  
There were more dragons there, painted on the walls, standing off to the sides and Eivor could even make out the dragons decorating the tall chair at the far end of the table upon which sat a man.  
Eivor had heard of Rhodri but never met him in person and yet he was just as he had imagined him, a very unpleasant man. 

The king didn't even bother to look up from his meal when Eivor entered and the drengr had half a mind to just take his silver and leave.  
Rhodri was not a man who one would like to make an alliance with. He was a king that got fat in his castle while his people starved on the streets, someone who thought so highly of himself that he opted against giving Eivor even the smallest amount of respect despite him depending on the silver that he had brought. 

For a while, silence settled over them, disturbed only by Rhodri's fairly annoying smacking. It reminded Eivor a lot of a pig but he couldn't dwell on the thought much longer seeing as the king finally saw it fit to recognize his presence.  
"Ah, you must be Eivor, Sigurd's brother."  
Eivor nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. At least Rhodri had bothered enough to learn his name.  
"And you are king Rhodri. "  
"That is right."  
A short pause followed.  
"Have you considered the Raven Clan's offer?"  
"I have and I agree to your terms. I will swear an oath to you as long as you provide the silver. "  
"Then I consider this settled. You shall have your silver once we have your oath."  
"And you shall have it. There will be a feast tonight. I would like you to be present. Of course you are welcome to stay the night." 

Eivor hesitated. He'd much prefer to get this whole business over with quickly so he could ride back to Ravensthorpe as soon as possible but on the other hand night had already fallen, which would make finding the way back more complicated than it absolutely had to be. 

And so it happened that some time later Eivor found himself sitting at the same table as at least three dozen Britons and Saxons.  
The mood was good enough.  
As it seemed plenty of ale and good food could help overcome even their numerous differences. 

Eivor was sat on Rhodri's left side so when the king waved one of the soldiers over and whispered something to him, he noticed.  
The drengr tried to listen in but the chatter and laughter that filled the hall made it impossible to make out anything.  
"I wanted to show you something", Rhodri explained when he noticed Eivor staring.  
The latter raised an eyebrow but eventually just picked up his tankard again, downing the rest of the ale. 

Some time passed and Eivor had already forgotten about the incident, when the loud conversations around him quietened down to hushed whispers.  
He could hear steps followed by frustrated screams and when he looked up to find the source, he saw two of Rhodri's guards dragging in a man who, despite the hopelessness of his situation, still tried to fight the men holding him. 

He looked young, barely more than twenty winters if Eivor had to guess.  
The drengr could tell even from his torn clothing that he was a Dane even before he heard the various insults falling from his mouth.  
The Dane strained in the guards' hold, twisting and squirming like a snake. He looked strong but Eivor had already noticed that he was injured. Injured and outnumbered.  
The Dane still managed to break free with a cry, much to Eivor's amazement, but he never stood a chance of getting away.  
As soon as no one was left to hold him up, the Dane's legs gave out and he collapsed on the hard stone floor.  
Eivor itched to interfere, to step in between the Dane and the guards but he couldn't risk loosing Rhodri as an ally. Especially not for a stranger.  
That didn't ease his troubled mind as he watched one of the guards grab the Dane's hair before slamming his head against the stone floor. 

The Dane didn't struggle when he was forced onto his feet once more, letting himself be pulled along rather than walking. Eivor guessed that he was simply to dazed to resist at this point. 

"We captured him a few months ago. I wanted to sell him as a slave at first but you see how he is", Rhodri explained as Eivor watched the guards chain up the Dane where everyone present could get a good look at him, "well... my men do enjoy torturing him so I suppose he is good for something after all."  
Eivor just hummed, his heart aching for the other even though he didn't know him.  
This Dane clearly was a warrior, it was evident even now when he was defeated and beaten, warriors did not deserve a life like this.  
No one deserved a life like like this. Back in Norway they had had slaves too of course but he had never seen them treated as cruelly as this. 

Soon the conversations around him resumed, most of the guests opting to ignore the Dane's presence but Eivor kept on looking at him every so often.  
He was forced to stand, his hands chained above his head which he kept lowered the entire time.  
Eivor noted how his lean frame trembled, from strain of the position or simply from the cold he couldn't tell. 

The night continued and Eivor watched as a few of the guests approached the Dane. Some spat on him, others were more physical, kicking his leg, grabbing his face or pulling his hair, they knew he couldn't fight back either way.  
Eivor waited until the dining hall had mostly cleared out and the king had disappeared with his wife, before he took his chance.  
The guards were celebrating with the others, leaving the Dane unguarded for the time being. Eivor quickly grabbed a cup then headed over to where they had the Dane chained up against a pillar. 

Once he stepped close enough he could see the miserable state the Dane was in. An angry red scar stretched from his scalp all the way across across his face. Both the man's eyes were closed and yet he could already tell that one of them was swollen shut simply by the heavy bruising around it.  
Eivor could see another bruise forming on the Dane's forehead where they had hit his head against the floor but it was just another one under the many that already decorated his face and from what he could tell also his torso and arms. 

When Eivor stepped even closer, the Dane woke with a start, the sudden movement putting even more strain on his arms.  
Eivor raised one hand in surrender, looking around the room quickly to see if anyone had noticed them.  
"Who are you?"  
The Dane eyed him suspiciously for a while, then his focus shifted to the cup Eivor was holding. The drengr noticed, raising it to the other's lips.  
The Dane hesitated, his greyish blue eyes boring into Eivor's before he closed them, tipping his head back a little so he could drink.  
"Ivarr", he replied once he was finished, though it was clear that he was still unsure what to make of the taller man.  
Eivor could also tell that Ivarr was stopping himself from saying more but he decided against asking about it.  
"I'm Eivor. Of the Raven Clan. "  
"I've heard about your clan before.. Didn't think you'd be making deals with weasels like Rhodri. " 

Ivarr's voice came out strained but Eivor could hear the spite behind the words and frowned. He couldn't deny that the Dane had a point. But choosing allies wasn't his job, it was Sigurd, his brother and jarl that had deemed king Rhodri a favorable ally. 

Before he could tell him that however, the guards approached them, ending their conversation before it could fully start. 

They untied Ivarr without paying any mind to Eivor. One of them was laughing as he pushed the Dane forward, which caused him to lose balance and fall again but this time, before any of the guards could even think about laying a hand on him, Eivor stepped in front of Ivarr, his hand gripping his axe in warning. 

The guards seemed shocked when Eivor helped the other to his feet but neither of them said a word or tried to stop him.  
"I could have handled that on my own.", the Dane was almost growling though one of his hands was clutching Eivor's arm for support. 

Eivor didn't pull it away.  
He wasn't one to take shit from anyone really but he could understand Ivarr.  
Rhodri had taken his dignity and freedom so it was only natural that he wanted to hold onto his pride at least. And so he steadied him until he was ready to let go on his own and then watched worriedly as the guards led Ivarr back to wherever it was that they kept him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to explain something:  
> 1.Eivor is older than Ivarr here seeing as a) I wanted to try out that dynamic and b) Ivarr says in the game that he got his scar years ago soo  
> 2\. Basically this whole work is set before the actual game the only difference being that Eivor and Sigurd have already come to England


	3. Chapter 3

The silvery light of the moon flooded in through the window, keeping Eivor company as he laid awake.  
The castle was silent now, the feast long since over.  
He had been given a nice room with a comfortable bed and furs but still he couldn't seem to find any rest.  
Everytime he closed his eyes he saw Ivarr, the Dane that despite the chains around his wrists fought like a warrior.  
Eivor spent a long time wondering how the younger had so easily claimed a place in his thoughts but found that he came up empty.  
Maybe it was just the part of him that wanted to be better, maybe that was just the easiest way of seeing it. 

Eventually, just before the sun rose over the horizon, Eivor fell into a restless sleep but even there grey-blue eyes haunted him.  
He dreamt of the Dane but there were no bruises, no scars. He looked healthy and if Eivor were honest to himself he would be able to admit that he looked beautiful.  
Ivarr stood right in front of him but when Eivor tried to close the distance between them, he found that he couldn't. For every step he took towards him it seemed as if Ivarr was taking one back without moving at all.  
He couldn't reach him, forced to watch as bruises and cuts appeared on his skin, forcing him onto his knees as he screamed and wailed. Ivarr had buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking only slightly now but when Eivor called out his name and the Dane looked up there was nothing where his eyes had once been. 

Eivor woke with a start.  
He had to find Ivarr and soon or he wouldn't be able to find any rest.  
The thoughts of what could be happening to him this very moment accompanied Eivor throughout his entire day, causing him to zone out when people spoke to him or find himself in places he didn't mean to go in the first place.  
Wherever he went however, those stormy eyes accompanied him, burned deep into his very soul.  
They reminded Eivor of the sea that separated him from his home, the sea he had crossed in search of a new life. They called out to him just as the salty water had all this time ago and Eivor found himself once again wishing to follow that call. 

Then finally night fell over the castle like a dark veil. Eivor was pacing his room, waiting for the halls to grow silent before he slipped out of his room.  
Eivor moved quietly through the dark halls and stairways, allowing his senses to guide him in this unfamiliar place.  
Finally, after much more time than he would have liked, he found his way to the dungeons.  
The two soldiers from the day before were guarding the door though when Eivor moved closer he found them both asleep.  
He would rather not kill them to avoid drawing suspicion so he took the key from the taller of the two carefully and then slipped through the door as silently as he could. 

The dungeons were a horrible place, dark and moist with a stench in the air that Eivor identified as that of decay.  
The drengr ignored the prisoners as they reached out for him, thinking that he had come to save them. He only scanned over them, hoping to find Ivarr but without success.  
"I'm looking for a Dane! The one with the scarred face", Eivor called out over the others.  
For a moment he feared he had woken the guards but they were used to noise apparently, still snoring peacefully.  
It was an old Norseman that answered Eivor. He had stayed in his corner, not even reacting to Eivor's presence until now.  
"Ivarr you mean? He isn't here with us. Not anymore."  
For a second, Eivor's blood ran cold. Was he already too late?  
The man nodded towards another staircase that Eivor had seemingly missed on his way there.  
"Thank you, old man"  
And then he was off, leaving the other prisoners behind. 

When he reached the end of the staircase and entered the cell was met with near complete darkness. He could hear the rats scurrying about rather than seeing them and found himself pulling his cloak tighter around himself to fend of the cold.  
For a moment he had almost forgotten why he was here in the first place, then his eyes seemed to have adjusted to the dark and he could make out a person against the wall opposite him. He made quick work of lighting his toarch then approached him slowly.  
Ivarr didn't react to the light at first and Eivor almost thought he was sleeping before he raised his head, leaning it back against the stone wall.  
"You again... Did Rhodri send you?"  
"I sent myself"  
The Dane smirked slightly, closing his eyes. He seemed tired but Eivor figured that it was hard to find sleep in a place like this.  
The torch was placed in the mount on the wall before Eivor knelt down in front of Ivarr.  
"So what do you want?", he cracked one eye open then seemed to decide it wasn't worth it.  
"I wanted to see you again"  
"Well here I am."  
Eivor sighed, searching his bag for the food he had brought. It was only an apple but it was something and it wasn't rotten.  
When he looked up again, the Dane was staring back at him. In the light that the fire cast, he could see that he was even more bruised now, with shallow cuts far too close to his eyes.  
"I brought you food and something to drink."  
"Why bother?", Ivarr asked, his chains clicking as he tried to sit up a little straighter.  
"Because you are Dane", Eivor replied, lacking a better response, "a warrior. You shouldn't be kept here like an animal."  
Ivarr chuckled, leaning his head back once more.  
"Go take it", Eivor urged when the younger made no move.  
"I don't need your help", Ivarr hissed but his growling stomach betrayed him.  
"You're proud. I can see that but right now the only place that pride can lead you is Helheim. I swear to you that no one will ever hear of this."  
Ivarr seemed to consider his words then tentatively reached out to take the apple.  
His fingers brushed Eivor's palm and the older almost flinched away. The other's hands were cold as ice.  
When Eivor looked closely he could see the Dane shiver every so often. He was trying to hide it and would have almost succeeded but now Eivor could see the signs, the blueish lips, the trembling, the way he tried to preserve some warmth by wrapping his arms around himself.  
Eivor took off his cloak, wrapping it around the other before he could protest.  
"How did Rhodri capture you?"  
"A raid went wrong", Ivarr replied, his eyes staying on the floor. It was clear that the memory of what had happened still haunted him. Of course it did he had to live with the consequences every day.  
"I haven't seen the stars in so long..."  
Eivor frowned, patting Ivarr's leg in a rather miserable attempt to offer some comfort.  
"I'll make sure you'll see them again."  
"Empty words", Ivarr shook his head, the glimpse of vulnerability gone once more.  
"I make it a promise, I make it an oath on Odin's spear."  
"Do you know what happens if you fail to keep an oath like that?"  
Eivor nodded.  
"Odin's rage would be upon me and all my descendants until the end of time."  
"You are a fool to swear oaths like that", Ivarr muttered as he pulled the cloak tighter around himself.  
He was right of course, oaths like that were not something to be taken lightly but the glimmer of hope he found in Ivarr's eyes made Eivor think that it had been the right choice.  
"I will have to leave soon", Eivor mumbled, watching as the other finished the apple.  
"Stay. Just a little longer, please."  
The Dane glanced up at him and who was Eivor to deny him that wish?  
So he sighed and sat down next to Ivarr with his back against the wall.  
"The guards really love you, don't they?", Eivor asked, glancing at the chains that kept the Dane in check.  
"I killed quite a few of them. They got scared.", Ivarr shrugged.  
"Why does Rhodri keep you alive then?"  
The Dane didn't respond, his eyes taking on this far-away look that told Eivor he had to change the subject.  
"You're from Denmark?"  
Ivarr hummed in agreement.  
"I came to England with my brothers a few summers ago. I wonder where they are now."  
"I came here with my brother as well.. He sent me here", Eivor explained, remembering how Ivarr had reacted when he found that he was here to make a deal with Rhodri.  
The younger hummed, leaning his head against Eivor's arm. It was a small gesture of trust, one he wouldn't have expected from a proud man like Ivarr. But he was tired, worn out and now Eivor had made him a promise of new life so who could blame him really?  
Silence settled over them after that and when Eivor looked down he found that Ivarr had fallen asleep.  
It was heartbreaking to take the cloak from him and leave him behind in this wretched place but when Eivor left it was with the promise that he would soon return. 

It was in the evening of the following when he sought out Rhodri once more.  
Again he found him in his dining hall, eating.  
The king once again didn't look up when he entered but this time Eivor found he wasn't as bothered by that but he was angry, burning rage cursing through his veins as he gripped one of the knifes, slamming it down on the table so hard it got stuck inside the wooden surface.  
Rhodri did look up at that, a bewildered expression on his despicable face.  
"That Dane you keep. What did he do to you?"  
Eivor's voice was calm, he was aware of the guards that had jumped into action around him but if he died here there would be no deal. They all knew that.  
"He came here to raid and God saw it fit to punish him."  
"What your God wants is unimportant to me. I want the Dane to be part of the deal."  
Rhodri chuckled at that.  
"I would have offered you to have him for the night if you had asked nicely."  
Eivor took a step back, confused.  
"Yes, I know you Danes. You probably sleep with your goats too, don't you?"  
"Is that what you did to him?", Eivor hissed, too quiet for the guards to hear.  
The smirk on the king's face was answer enough.  
Eivor grabbed the dagger, holding it to Rhodri's fat neck. Around him swords were drawn, but Eivor ignored them. Oh how he wished to drive the blade into the soft flesh, allowing the blood to paint the floors a deep red. It would be less of a waste than allowing it to give life to this monster of a man.  
"I said I want him part of the deal. The Dane comes with me."  
"I fear that won't be possible. If he us so valuable to you that you would dare threaten a king then you will have to bring me at least three times the promised amount."  
Eivor growled but retraced the dagger, burying it inside the wooden table once more.  
He had acted too emotionally, now it would be even harder to save Ivarr.  
" Your brother will hear of this", Rhodri called after him as Eivor stormed out of the hall.  
Ivarr was beyond his reach for now. He'd have to find allies and speak to his brother about what had happened here. 

That same evening as Eivor found himself atop his horse, riding homewards, he clutched the amulet around his neck tightly, asking Thor to protect Ivarr, to protect the man that had found a way into Eivor's heart that he had never known to even exist.


	4. Chapter 4

"Three times the promised amount? Are you mad, brother?!", Sigurd's voice rung through the longhouse, drawing Randvi's attention.  
"What's wrong Sigurd? You will wake the entire settlement if you keep this screaming up."  
Eivor rubbed at his eyes tiredly, trying to ignore his steadily increasing frustration.   
Countless times he had blindly followed his brother's call, had fought, killed and nearly died for him and his visions.   
For his brother he had left his home, betrayed the man that had taken him in when he had had no one else and yet Sigurd valued silver more than Eivor's honor.  
They had the necessary amount, far more than that actually, thanks to Eivor's work, but Eivor knew that this was a hopeless fight.  
Sigurd was no longer the good man he had once been. He was no longer humble and considerate, no longer helped people just because of his good heart. 

"Eivor swore an oath on Odin's spear to free some Dane that Rhodri keeps prisoner", Sigurd answered Randvi's question, looking down at the alliance map. An alliance map that without Eivor would not have a single raven perched on it.   
"For that, Rhodri wants three times the amount of silver", he added, turning around once more to face his wife.  
"So? We have the means, why not help this Dane?"  
"Why should we? He has nothing to offer this clan."  
"If your brother thought that he important enough to swear on Gugnir then you should help him even if it is just for Eivor's sake."  
"Eivor was in no position to swear an oath like this. I am jarl here and I say that we do nothing. You", he pointed at Eivor, "will travel to Oxenefordscire before the sun sets and secure our alliance there."  
Eivor grit his teeth but nodded. It wasn't as though he had a choice in that matter. 

Over time, the nightmares started to worsen, eventually stealing all sleep from Eivor.  
Ivarr's screams were etched into his memory and they only grew louder during the night, when the rest of the world was silent.  
Randvi watched Eivor's descent into madness with worry but Sigurd was drunk on power. He spent his silver buying allies until one day he met the wrong people and was captured.

Eivor couldn't be bothered to look for him. Not now, not after Sigurd had betrayed him in such a way.   
Months had passed since he had last seen Ivarr.   
Outside, the first flowers of spring stretched their colorful petals towards the sunlight but all Eivor could see on the ground was Ivarr's blood, a reminder of the oath he was so close to breaking. A reminder of all he was about to lose. 

One morning he woke after finally having passed out from exhaustion the night before.   
The sky outside his window was gloomy, just as his mood had been ever since he had returned from Sciropescire.  
With Sigurd gone, he had almost been hopeful again but in reality it seemed as though all hope of seeing Ivarr again was lost.   
Their silver was gone, spent on oaths as hollow as his own. 

With a sigh the drengr turned onto his other side, intending to close his eyes for a while longer while he still could.   
The blood in his veins froze as he stared at the sight in front of him.   
Months had passed but he could still recognize the other without any problems.   
Next to him on the bed lay Ivarr, his body lifeless and cold, littered with countless wounds and scars. His chest was no longer raising and falling and as Eivor reached out to toch him, there was no heartbeat.   
Eivor had failed. 

The world around him turned black, leaving only the body in front of him.   
"This is your last warning", Odin spoke and when the world returned moments later, Ivarr disappeared. 

Eivor grabbed a slip of paper writing a note to Randvi before he left.   
She would understand, she always did.   
He had built himself a small house further away from the longhouse after what had happened with his brother, something he was grateful for now that he needed to disappear without being seen.   
His clan needed him. With Sigurd gone they were without a leader but while they had each other, Ivarr was all alone.   
Eivor could live with damning himself for the good of his people but he had not just sworn an oath but also made a promise to Ivarr, a promise that he would keep even if it cost him his life. 

The sun still hid behind the heavy clouds when Eivor reached Quatford early that same afternoon.   
Synin had guided him there and his raven, much like Odin's ravens Huginn and Muninn, knew and saw things that Eivor could never hope to know or see.   
So he had followed his old friend without question. 

The drengr slipped off his horse, leaving it behind as he walked through the streets, searching for anything that might be of help.   
He was walking towards the small marketplace when someone touched his shoulder. 

Eivor turned, one hand already reaching for his axe, when he recognized that the one who had stopped him was the same man he had met in the dungeons months ago, the one that had helped him find Ivarr.   
"You are the dregr that was looking for Ivarr, aren't you?"   
"Eivor", he nodded, looking at the man expectantly.   
"My name is Kjartan. I fought with king Ragnar when he first came to England and then joined his sons as they killed king Aelle to avenge his death. It pains me to see one of his sons reduced to the prisoner of some king of nothing."   
"Ivarr is a son of Ragnar?", Kjartan motioned for him to be silent, leading Eivor to one of the houses nearby. 

Once they were inside he locked the door, taking a seat at the table, Eivor doing the same and sitting down opposite him.   
"You are here to help him, aren't you? Rhodri does not know who his prisoner is. Otherwise he would have had him tortured and killed slowly a long time ago."   
Eivor nodded to show that he understood. Rhodri would have stripped Ivarr of all honor and would have had him executed publicly for what he had done here in England. 

"How is he? Do you know? Speak!"   
"Not well I fear", Kjartan glanced at the table, "Rhodri hasn't been easy on him since you left. But he is strong..."   
"We have to do something."   
Eivor found himself unable to sit still, getting up so he could pace the room.   
"We are on our own here. Ivarr's brothers are in Denmark and if we gathered the remains of the great heathen army they would know."  
Eivor thought for a moment, wrecking his brain for anything that could be of use. He knew how the castle was was structured.   
"We need a distraction... A way in... If the distraction works then leaving shouldn't be a problem... Find me carts and oil, a lot of oil", Eivor placed a bag of silver on the table, "and hurry. We have no time to waste." 

By afternoon the carts had been readied and Eivor's raiders had assembled. He himself had spent hours praying that Ivarr would live through this.   
It wasn't even about the oath anymore. After all this time apart, a time plagued by nightmares and clouded by misery, Eivor could admit to himself that Ivarr had his heart.   
If he were to die- so would Eivor. 

Birna, a smuggler he had met in Granterbridgescire joined him where he stood, looking over at the castle.   
She must have sensed what Eivor felt or heard it in his voice when he had spoken to them earlier because she put a hand on his shoulder before she spoke.   
"Don't be scared of what you feel for this man. Maybe what happens here today will break your heart but to have loved is still better than not to have loved at all."   
"And yet all it has brought me was pain."   
"I hope that you will get to experience the joy it can bring because only then you will know that it is worth all the pain ten fold."   
She left Eivor after that as he stared at the setting sun, one last time asking the gods for help. 

Then their attack began. Eivor and his raiders hid among the oil jars, using the carts to get within the walls unseen.   
Once that was accomplished, Eivor slipped out of his hiding spot, making quick and quiet work of the guards that could stop him before making his way inside the castle.   
This time he knew exactly where to go, heading straight for the dungeons without a moment's hesitation.   
He made quick work of the guards there too, grabbing the key before dragging them out of sights and hurrying to get to where they kept Ivarr.   
Eivor's heart was racing, beating hard against his ribcage. It was as though it wanted to break out and run, fly, faster than Eivor ever could.   
But his bones were too strong and his feet too slow. 

If he had ever questioned what he felt for the Dane, whether it was pity or simply a naive kind of love, this was his answer.   
He had often doubted that this could be love. He had barely spoken to the Dane, hadn't even known who he was until today but he had heard skalds sing of the blindness of love and this had to be it.   
He had fallen in love with the flame that was burning inside Ivarr, tall and bright even in the darkest of nights.   
He just hoped that Rhodri hadn't managed to put it out. 

Eivor's heart was not beating for a moment when he pushed the door open, he was sure of it, and then it broke into a million tiny pieces.   
He found Ivarr quickly, with his torch already lit and illuminating the small cell.   
"Ivarr?", he spoke quietly, carefully, as he approached the other.   
The Dane looked right through him when he stepped into his line of vision, blood flowing from a gash on his forehead and painting his face a dark red.   
But the wounds were not what concerned Eivor.   
It was the dull and empty look in his eyes.   
There was no recognition there, just emptiness. 

Eivor put the torch on the wall then knelt down in front of the younger.   
He cupped his face carefully but the other still didn't react.   
He was like a ragdoll, lifeless, compliant.   
But he was alive.   
Eivor tried to ignore his aching heart, setting to work on the chains.   
Only when the last of them fell away did he allow himself a moment of weakneness and pulled Ivarr close, draping his cloak around the smaller man's trembling frame.   
Ivarr didn't protest. 

There he waited for the explosions, alone with the reminder of his failure for what felt like an eternity. 

Then, Ivarr seemed to come to slowly, pushing at Eivor's chest when he didn't recognize him.   
The drengr let him move but tried to calm him.   
"Shhh... It's me. It's Eivor."   
Ivarr stopped, looking up at him with those tired eyes of his. But they were no longer hollow and Eivor breathed a sigh of relief.   
"Eivor?"  
For a second there was a glimmer of hope but then it was gone again, replaced with burning hot anger.   
He pushed at Eivor's chest again, weak from months of imprisonment.  
"Bacraut! How dare you make promises and then just fucking leave?!"   
Eivor closed his eyes, the words paining him because he knew them to be true.   
"I'm sorry..."  
"Do you have any idea what they did to me?!"   
That did it eventually and Ivarr's anger gave way to tears as Eivor pulled him close again.   
"It's over now. I promise."  
Eivor had failed him and every tear, every scar, every wound and every bruise was a reminder of that failure.   
"You're safe now..." 

They stayed like that for what felt like a long time, Ivarr holding onto Eivor as he allowed himself a moment of weakness after being strong for far too long.   
Eivor was almost sure he knew what had happened to Ivarr here, was sure that he had been subjected to more than just kicks and punches but he didn't dare ask about it because that would make it real. 

Eventually Ivarr calmed down, settling more comfortably against Eivor's chest.   
"Can you walk?" Eivor asked, helping Ivarr drink something.   
The Dane nodded, leaning his head against Eivor's chest again when he was done.   
He looked tired and it was clear that he was in pain but Eivor feared that they wouldn't have a choice.   
"Just give me an axe. " 

They sat in silence until explosions sounded from the outside, ending their moment of peace abruptly.   
Eivor helped the other to his feet then hesitated, looking into his eyes for a moment.   
"Whatever happens now.. Know that you have my heart."   
Ivarr looked at him for a moment but then pulled the taller man closer, using him to steady himself so he could crash their lips together. 

In that very moment the world stopped for Eivor, in that very moment all the guilt and fear was gone and he was reminded of Birna's words. If this was what love felt like then it was worth all the pain in the world. 

But the moment didn't last. Far too soon they parted, Ivarr leaning heavily on him and Eivor realized that they were far from safety still. 

He frowned as Ivarr pushed away from him, taking one of Eivor's axes.   
Before looking over at the door.   
"Let's finish this then."

The guards were mostly distracted by the explosions but there were still some around and the two of them had been forced to fight.  
Ivarr was a good fighter but he had been walking the edge for too long.  
Eivor could see how much he struggled to keep a grip on the axe but the Dane still managed to burry it in his opponents stomach before pulling it out just to split his head open.  
He rested for a second before pulling the axe out, getting onto his unsteady feet again.   
The older made quick work of his opponents before coming to support him once more. 

Ivarr was quickly losing strength, his grip on Eivor eventually loosening to the point where the older had to half carry him through the long hallways.

By the time they had reached the gate, luckily without any more fighting necessary, Ivarr's feet were mostly just dragging on the ground so Eivor lifted him up, quickly putting distance between them and the castle before the rest of the soldiers could recognize the distraction for what it was and come after them. 

The walk to where Kjartan was waiting with the cart was a slow one as Eivor tried not to jostle the other more than it was absulutely necessary.   
He had sustained more injuries in the fight, one of them a long gash on his chest that was bleeding much more than Eivor would have liked. 

Ivarr didn't say a word, his head resting against Eivor's shoulder.   
If it weren't for the occasional gasps when Eivor stumbled in the dark, one could think that Ivarr had already departed this world and moved on to the next. 

Kjartan had a grave look on his face when he saw them approach, helping Eivor to lay the youngest Ragnarsson down on the cart.   
Eivor laid his cloak over Ivarr once more before sitting down next to him.   
He used his hand to help Ivarr grip the handle of his axe.   
"You fought well", the older mumbled, straining to pick up the rise and fall of Ivarr's chest.   
Eivor didn't like to consider it but this felt very much like goodbye. 

Above them, the first stars were starting to flare up in the dark nightsky.   
Ivarr couldn't help a small smile, not that he wanted to either way. What use would it be to deny himself emotions now?   
The sight above him and the wind on his skin were enough to ease his pain, even if only a little. He was starting to grow tired now but there was one thing left that he had to do.   
He placed his free hand on top of Eivor's, looking up at the other.   
"You kept your oath, wolf-kissed. Thank you. "   
For maybe the first time in his life, he wished to say more but he found that there were no words to describe the gratitude he felt in this very moment. Eivor kept his hand around Ivarr's, making sure he kept his grip on the axe as his stormy blue eyes began to slip shut.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *writes cliffhanger *  
> Also me: *forgets about the story for like 1(2?) weeks just to come back with some wonky af chapter*  
> It'll get better. I hope.

The forest around them was eerily quiet. It was as though all of Midgard was holding its breath as it waited anxiously to learn the fate of the Ragnarsson laid out in front of Eivor.

He was breathing still, slow and labored but it was a sign of life nonetheless.   
Eivor did not dare let go of Ivarr's hand, making sure to keep the axe in his grip should he end up departing this world after all.   
He had no doubt that a Ragnarsson would enter Odin's halls whether they died weapon in hand or not but he would not take any chances.   
Not with Ivarr. 

In the dark he could not make out the extent of Ivarr's wounds beyond those he had already seen and those alone were enough to keep the flame of hope in his chest the size of a candle, flickering everytime the Dane took too long before breathing in again. But the Ivarr was nothing if not strong, he had seen that and so he called upon the gods, upon Freya, Thor, Odin and all the others, asking them to give Ivarr enough strength to pull through.   
Because this was not the destiny that had been spun for him, Eivor was sure of that. 

Ivarr woke halfway through their journey and as much relief as Eivor felt when the Dane opened his eyes, he also wished he hadn't.   
The younger was disoriented and, if Eivor had to guess, delirious from fever or pain.   
He tried to kick him, screaming and crying, and Eivor let him before he was able to pull Ivarr into his arms.   
The kicks still hurt but Eivor had no doubt that he deserved far more pain than this. If he could then he would take all the pain Ivarr had had to endure in a heartbeat.   
Even if the Dane didn't reciprocate his feelings, even if he would leave and never return. 

Ivarr's struggling died down soon and the Dane went limp in his arms as his screaming quietened down to something that sounded a lot like begging.   
Eivor couldn't make out the words, a jumbled mess of old Norse and English, spoken too quickly and too quietly, but he understood more than he wanted to, enough to confirm his fears.

"Hush... I came back for you Ivarr, you're safe", Eivor made sure to speak his native tongue, something he rarely did anymore. Even with Norse he met here, Eivor tended to speak English or a mixed language simply out of habit but he could tell that Ivarr needed the familiarity this very moment.

It seemed to work, seeing as slowly the words too died down, leaving only silent tears behind.  
Eivor didn't dare let go, humming quietly as he held the younger man in his arms.   
It was a melody from his childhood, though the lyrics had escaped his mind over time, the melody had remained in his heart.   
His mother had used to sing this song to him every time he woke from a nightmare and it had always helped him go back to sleep. 

The Dane relaxed after a while, all tension leaving his body as he slipped back into unconsciousness, the grip he had had on Eivor's tunic loosening completely.   
The latter continued his humming for a while, taking the fur that Kjartan offered them without saying a word. 

It seemed as though the night had grown a little darker, a little colder.   
Guilt weighed heavy on Eivor's chest, threatening to choke him.  
What had happened to Ivarr was not his fault but what had happened to him since Eivor had left him was.   
He could have taken the Dane with him, could have paid with silver and spared him long months of torture but his love for Sigurd had stopped him.   
Now he had to make up for it. 

Hidden in the darkness he placed a gentle kiss on Ivarr's head, covering him with the fur but not daring to lie him back down.   
Around them the branches seemed to move closer, reaching their gnarly fingers out towards them. Eivor felt that if he were to let go, they wouldsnatch Ivarr from him, returning him to that horrible cell he had just saved him from. 

They reached Ravensthorpe in the early hours of morning, long before the sun was set to rise.   
Kjartan helped him carry Ivarr into Eivor's house where they settled him into his bed.   
The old drengr stopped him for a moment when Eivor led him to the door of his house.   
"I will not speak of what I saw tonight. Neither should you."   
"I know."   
If word of what had happened to Ivarr were to spread, the Dane's reputation and honor would forever be stained.   
Eivor wouldn't let that happen.   
"He seems to trust you so I do too. Take good care of him."  
Eivor nodded, thanking Kjartan before the older man left. 

Then suddenly he found himself alone with Ivarr.   
The Dane hadn't woken up again, though Eivor had had to help him through a few nightmares the rest of the way.   
It hurt him to know that not even in sleep he could find solace.   
Now Ivarr looked peaceful enough, with the candlelight enhancing his features and hiding some of the bruising. From afar it was easy to forget what he had went through. 

Eivor fetched a water bowl and a few clean rags, carrying them over to the bed. 

Cleaning Ivarr's wounds took a lot of time and energy but Eivor found a little comfort in the fact that Ivarr stayed unconscious throughout some of the procedure. Even when he did wake up the Dane merely clenched his teeth, not allowing himself to scream or cry despite the tears glistening in his eyes. 

The Dane's body was littered with bruises and half healed wounds, some of them infected while others had been crudely stitched together. Eivor could even find some burn marks among the wounds but he did not ask any questions. 

When he was finally done, he found blue eyes looking back at him, empty and so tired, it made Eivor's heart ache dully. 

The Dane still wasn't crying, even though Eivor would have understood if he were, just watching him.   
Hel, he wouldn't even have judged him for screaming.   
But Ivarr was probably too exhausted too scream anymore or too stubborn or maybe he had just screamed too much. Eivor wasn't sure if he wanted to know.   
He almost wished for the Dane's rage back because as much as it hurt him, at least Ivarr would look alive then. 

"I'm so sorry", Eivor's voice sounded strange even to his own ears, hollow and empty, not nearly enough to make up for the pain Ivarr had had to endure.   
The Dane didn't react and so Eivor continued, tears starting to gather in his own eyes as his guilt found a voice. And it was ridiculous that he was the one to shed tears even though Ivarr was the injured one.   
"I promised to save you but it took me so long. Too long. I couldn't--my brother he- I failed you. You do not have to forgive me. Not ever. Just know that I am sorry"   
Silence followed, then Ivarr took his hand, squeezing it weakly. A long moment passed before he spoke, voice just as tired and frail.   
Eivor could already tell his eyelids were dropping again.   
"You came back. "  
"Too late."   
"But you did." 

That was all he said. There was no trace of anger just something akin to... gratitude.   
And that was wrong. Eivor had been too late-too late to save him from Rhodri. 

Eivor sighed, drawing the furs up to Ivarr's shoulders as the younger gave in to sleep again.   
He watched him for a while before his eyes fell on the scar that stretched across his face. It was deep and still the same angry red Eivor remembered it. It must have gotten infected a few times, a life long reminder of what had happened to the Dane. Of what had been done to him

Eivor had to turn away.   
It was hard to see Ivarr like this, so vulnerable, so dependent.   
When they had first met Eivor had admired his fire, his stubbornness but Rhodri, that cruel Bastard, had found a way to extinguish that fire, to break Ivarr.   
Now it was his task to light the fire once more and build up what had been destroyed.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun stood high in the clear sky when Eivor returned from Falka's hut, carrying a pouch of herbs that would hopefully ease Ivarr's pain.   
The seer had not asked any questions, had simply given him this understanding, maybe even sympathetic look before sending him on his way.   
Randvi had been much the same. He had seen the question burning on her tongue but she had never said it aloud, instead just nodding when Eivor asked her whether she could handle their growing settlement on her own for a while. 

He wanted this time only for Ivarr, to help him heal and regain his strength, to be there for him and make up for the time where he hadn't. 

When he entered the hut he found the Dane fast asleep, still wrapped in furs securely.   
Mouse had curled up against Ivarr's side, seemingly asleep as well.   
Though when Eivor moved to sit on his spot by the bed the wolf jumped into action, growling lowly in warning until he recognized Eivor. 

"It's just me, Mouse" he mumbled, petting the wolf. "Thank you for watching over Ivarr while I was gone."   
Mouse made a low sound, curling up once more as Eivor set to preparing the herbs the way Falka had instructed him to. 

Ivarr woke just before he finished, a low groan escaping him as he tried to sit up out of habit. Eivor could catch a glimpse of panic in the Dane's eyes but it faded onto confusion when Mouse licked his palm. 

Eivor hurried to finish the mixture, adding some water so that Ivarr could drink it.   
When he finally put it to Ivarr's lips he didn't hesitate to drink it, allowing Eivor to help him. 

The Dane downed the whole cup before closing his eyes again, the simple action enough to tire him.   
"It will help with the pain", Eivor explained, receiving a nod from Ivarr as response.   
That was as much conversation as he managed, seeing as Ivarr fell back asleep. 

That was good, Eivor decided.   
By the time he'd wake again, Falka's herbs would have taken their effect and the Dane would probably be lucid enough for Eivor to get some food in him. 

"Take me to a lake", Ivarr requested as soon as he had eaten at least some of the food that Eivor had brought for him.   
The drengr stared at him for a while, wondering whether he had misunderstood.   
Ivarr was more bruises than skin, barely able to move even with Falka's herbs to help him handle the pain.   
There was no way he would be able to make it to the next lake, not without being in absolute agony every step of the way.  
Not to mention that the request itself seemed pretty ridiculous. Ivarr's wounds had been cleaned out the rest could wait until he could walk on his own two feet once again.   
But when he saw the desperation in Ivarr's blue-green eyes, Eivor decided that he would find a way to make it work regardless.   
"We can go after sundown. There is a lake nearby." 

Ivarr nodded a little, laying his hand closer to Eivor's, though he did not take it. Instead Eivor took that step, squeezing Ivarr's hand reassuringly.   
"It will get better", he mumbled though the words sounded empty even to him.   
"Will it?"  
Eivor could see the same vulnerability in his eyes that he had seen in the cell after they had first met, all this time ago.   
"I will not leave you again." 

"I'm tired", Ivarr mumbled, his eyes fixated on Eivor's. There was something there, something that he wanted but wasn't saying.   
"You can talk to me", Eivor urged, squeezing his hand again but Ivarr didn't say anything, looking down at Mouse who was curled up against his side.   
Eivor thought for a while.   
"Would you mind if I laid down with you?", he asked, guessing that that was what Ivarr wanted but didn't seem able to ask for. He was still proud and rightly so but that didn't make helping him any easier. 

The Dane just shook his head, not meeting Eivor's eyes but making room when the taller man slipped underneath the furs behind him.   
Eivor pulled him against his chest carefully, placing a small kiss next to the scar on Ivarr's face. 

"I promised you I would never speak of what happens here, Ivarr. I swear it. But I cannot help you if you don't let me"   
Ivarr was silent for a while but he relaxed slightly in Eivor's hold. 

"I don't want to be weak anymore", he mumbled eventually, almost too quiet for Eivor to hear.   
"You are far from weak. Would you call a warrior who fought bravely but was injured weak?"   
Ivarr shook his head.   
"You will heal in time and until then my strength is yours. I will be your shield and axe until you can carry them on your own once more and if you wish it even beyond that."

There was no response from the Ragnarsson but for a moment he felt Ivarr squeeze his hand.   
Then the Dane's breathing seemed to even out as he once more fell victim to sleep. 

Eivor must have fallen asleep as well at some point, seeing as he woke when the moonlight filtered in through the windows. Ivarr was still asleep in his arms, looking a lot less troubled than he had the night before. At least Eivor liked to think that he did. 

When he leaned down to kiss the side of his head, Ivarr blinked up at him sleepily. Eivor smiled slightly, checking the Dane's temperature before stroking his hair out of his face.   
"We can go to the lake now if you still want to."   
Ivarr nodded quickly, waiting for Eivor to climb out of the bed so he could help Ivarr.   
The Dane had to grit his teeth, his knuckles turning white from how tightly he was holding onto Eivor's arm but he didn't speak, slowly walking with Eivor to the exit. 

They made it to the outskirts of Ravensthorpe before Ivarr's legs gave way, leaving the Dane to stifle a frustrated, or maybe it was more pained, cry.   
That alone was impressive and when Ivarr stared at the ground in defeat he just picked him up, extra carefully because of his wounds. 

The Dane didn't speak, leaning his head against Eivor's shoulder.   
"I will have your head if you as much as breathe a word of this."   
"In that case I will hand you my axe", Eivor replied without hesitation. 

The lake lay abandoned when they reached it, a few fireflies circling above as their light joined the stars shimmering on the water's surface.   
Under other circumstances Eivor would have taken time to appreciate the beauty but as it was he was too focused on helping Ivarr remove what little remained of his clothing. 

When it came to his pants however, Ivarr pushed him away with as much strength as he could muster.   
"I don't need help" he hissed, though it wasn't hard for Eivor to see through the act. He knew of the wounds and the malnourishment, knew that Ivarr should by all means not be able to do this himself.   
But in this case Ivarr was a wounded animal, lashing out not out of hate but out of fear.   
Fear of his own vulnerability. 

Eivor raised his hands in surrender.   
"Then I will go fishing. Call me if you need anything" 

It didn't take long until he noticed the Dane struggling. Of course not.   
By all means Ivarr should be in bed resting, not out here.   
But he couldn't have denied him something so important for him.   
Slowly it was starting to dawn on Eivor just why it actually was so important. 

He dropped his cloak and tunic on the shore then stepped into the water.   
He moved behind Ivarr, making the Dane lean back against his chest as he set to washing the rest of his body carefully.   
By the time he was finished, tears were streaming down Ivarr's face but Eivor knew they weren't tears of sadness, they were a sign of the pure rage he felt. 

"I want that bastard to die", he was whispering but the venom in his voice was lethal.   
"I want him to suffer the way I suffered, I want him to scream for his God as I skin him, I want him to beg for mercy as I set him on fire." 

"You will have your revenge", Eivor promised, washing Ivarr's hair as well to get the rest of the blood and dirt out.   
Hair was important for a warrior and so Eivor made a mental note to get some beads and ornaments to braid into Ivarr's when the time was right.   
"But for now you need to recover, hm?" 

The Dane nodded, turning around and resting his forehead against Eivor's neck.   
They stood like that for a while before Eivor stepped back to touch their foreheads together instead, a more intimate gesture. 

Ivarr had allowed himself to be carried back without protesting or as much as trying to stubbornly walk on his own and was now wrapped in Eivor's cloak as they made their way back to Ravensthorpe, to an uncertain future but one they would face together.


	7. Chapter 7

The following nights were filled with dread.  
The fever came and went, Eivor staying by Ivarr's side to place a cooling cloth on his forehead every so often.  
It rarely grew high enough to be truly concerning, just enough to tint Ivarr's cheeks red and make his eyes appear glassy, but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable for the Dane who spent most of his nights shivering despite the heat he almost radiated.  
When it wasn't the fever keeping the Dane awake, then it was the nightmares.  
Ivarr would often wake up screaming or crying but everytime Eivor would be there, ready to remind him that he was safe and hold him for as long as he needed.  
Yet there was only so much he could do when the nightmares weren't scenarios conjured up by a troubled mind but scenes from a real, sad past. 

By the end of the week they were both beyond exhausted.  
Ivarr's fever had finally broken for good but still the sleep his body needed now more than ever evaded him.  
He didn't dare close his eyes anymore It seemed.  
Anytime Eivor would wake from a nap he'd find the Dane wide awake, staring at the ceiling or nothing in particular.  
The dark bags under his eyes seemed to grow darker each passing day and it felt as though all the progress they had made had been for nothing.  
Ivarr didn't speak, didn't eat, didn't sleep, he just sat there, looking more and more like a corpse. 

Eivor was at loss about what to do. He couldn't seem to think of the right words to say or the right thing to do. Maybe there was nothing he could say or do. 

But he refused to let the Ragnarsson waste away in front of him.  
Not after he had survived so much. 

He found himself at Falka's hut early one morning, having left Mouse with Ivarr. The wolf seemed to offer at least a little comfort. 

"What you must understand is that this is not an ailment of the hamr", Falka explained once he had told her about the situation, "it's his hugr. The hugr can not be healed with herbs and potions."  
"Then what can I do?"  
"Very little I'm afraid. It is a battle he needs to fight on his own. The best you can do is stay with him, give him a purpose... Until then... Take him outside... Let nature heal him." 

When he returned to his house he found Ivarr asleep. He had probably passed out from exhaustion if he had to guess.  
Eivor sighed, his heart aching for the Dane. 

"Do you feel strong enough to go outside?", Eivor asked as the sky was starting to turn red in the evening.  
For a moment he was almost sure he could see something in the Dane's eyes though he would never know if it hadn't just been the light playing tricks on him.  
Ivarr nodded, holding his hand out to let Eivor help him up. 

At least the Dane had learned to accept help. 

Outside in the dwindling sunlight, Ivarr looked better.  
He had taken one of Eivor's cloaks, drawing the hood deep into his face, to hide his identity, Eivor had assumed.  
The Dane was almost completely healed physically.  
He still walked with a small limp but he was walking on his own feet again, the cuts had healed over and the bruises had all but disappeared. 

"We could visit the stables", Eivor suggested, deciding to avoid the more crowded areas of Ravensthorpe.  
Ivarr nodded again, his gaze shifting up to the clouds as he took a deep breath in.  
Eivor gave him time, waiting until Ivarr turned his attention back to him before he started walking. 

"Rowan tends to the horses here", Eivor explained, "but he isn't around at this time of day so you don't gave to worry.  
Ivarr breathed a sigh of relief. 

"This is Hrimfaxi", Eivor explained when he saw Ivarr looking at the stallion with the coat black as the night sky.  
"And this is Skinfaxi", he added when Ivarr moved on to the white horse next to it. 

"I always loved it when mother told the story of Skinfaxi and Hrimfaxi", Ivarr mumbled, the hint of a smile on his face as Hrimfaxi nudged his shoulder.  
Eivor handed him an apple, letting Ivarr feed it to the stallion while he gave one to Skinfaxi so he wouldn't feel left out.  
"We could go horse riding tomorrow if you want? I know a nice trail nearby", Eivor suggested, the little smile from earlier enough to give him hope.  
Ivarr hummed in agreement. 

When the sun had already set they found themselves sitting underneath the tall tree behind Eivor's house.  
He had gotten Ivarr to eat an apple at least, which was more progress than he could've hoped for really. 

"Would you tell me the story?", Eivor asked suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence that had settled over them.  
"Of Skinfaxi and Hrimfaxi", Eivor explained when Ivarr looked puzzled.  
"Do you not know it?"  
Of course Eivor did but he still shook his head.  
"I don't think I've ever heard the tale behind those names." 

"Well... Where to start... There is Nótt, the giantess, Loki's granddaughter. She had a son, Dagr, a beautiful man. He was given a chariot by Odin, pulled by Skinfaxi and as they ride through the sky, Skinfaxi's mane lights up the sky. Every morning Hrimfaxi runs past Skinfaxi and as it gallops through the sky, the foam that falls from his mouth, forms the dew on the grass and trees. "

Eivor listened intently to the story, despite having heard it many times before in the longhouse of Norway. 

"I know a different story", Eivor started when Ivarr was done. The Dane eyed him for a moment then nodded as if to tell him to go ahead.  
"I know of Sól and Máni , two siblings so beautiful that their father, Mundilfari, named them after the sun and the moon. Angered by this arrogance the gods made them ride their chariots through the sky, chased by two wolves. When Ragnarok comes, Sköll and Hati, those are their names, will catch them."

When Eivor looked back at Ivarr, he found the Dane fast asleep, his hand still on Mouse's fur from where he had been petting the wolf.  
Eivor smiled, carefully picking him up to carry him back to bed. 

Ivarr would not get better overnight but this was another step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm about ready for a lil time jump but I don't wanna rush anything so we'll see.


	8. Chapter 8

Another sunrise, another sunset. The days had started blurring together a long time ago.  
Soon it would be spring again.

They had left England before the first snow had fallen, just the two of them.   
Eivor had made that decision for Ivarr's sake after he had seen how badly the Dane had reacted to people.   
One of his Raiders had nearly ended up with an axe between the eyes after he had touched Ivarr's shoulder to get his attention and that was just one of many examples where someone had nearly lost a limb or their life. 

Eivor watched with a fond smile as Ivarr charged at him again, dodging his shield with ease before kicking him in the back of the legs to make him fall.   
The Norse had not anticipated that move, falling face first into the snow, which made the younger of the two chuckle. 

Ivarr was fast and flexible when fighting, his attacks often impossible to foresee. That alone was admirable enough coming from Eivor seeing as the two of them had been training together daily for months now.   
At first Ivarr had struggled a lot, the shield too heavy for his weakened body. Eivor would never forget the defeated look on Ivarr's face each time. 

Now there was no trace of that anymore, a small smirk firmly in place on the Dane's lips at most times.   
Eivor had noticed that Ivarr generally seemed more confident now, though he still wore a hood whenever they went to the cities or villages. 

Eivor rose from the ground, brushing away all the remaining snow before glancing up at the sky. It was starting to get dark already, the last rays of light illuminating the sky.   
"I think we're done for today", Eivor mumbled, receiving a nod from Ivarr as response.   
"I'll spare you another defeat", the Dane teased, letting Eivor pull him close to place a small kiss on his lips. 

Life was good now.   
But Eivor knew that it couldn't last, spring was approaching and with the time to return to England now that Ivarr was strong enough to defend himself once more.   
They hadn't talked about it yet and Eivor feared how the Dane would react so he had decided to not speak of it before tomorrow morning, give Ivarr some more time away from glory and painful memories alike. 

Eivor usually was stuck doing the cooking, not because Ivarr was bad at it, but rather because the older still wanted to do as much as possible for him.   
It had just become a habit and Ivarr didn't seem to mind much, getting comfortable on the pile of blankets and pillows they had placed in front of the fireplace.   
Mouse usually curled up next to him, letting the Dane pet him while he told Childhood stories or spoke of anything that came to mind.   
Eivor joined them when the food was done, just as he always did. 

The night passed as every other had here in Norway. It was peaceful.   
Eivor almost wished that they could stay, just him, Ivarr and Mouse til they died but Ivarr was and would always be a son of Ragnar, destined for great things and destined for a glorious death. 

Ivarr's hair had grown quite long, he noticed as he combed it that night.   
He knew that it often troubled the young Dane, strands falling out of his braids when he fought and he knew that Ivarr had wanted to cut it for a while now.   
"Do you want me to cut it?", Eivor asked, carding his hand through the strands.   
Ivarr nodded slightly though Eivor didn't miss the hesitancy.   
He got up nevertheless, getting everything he would need.   
Ivarr liked to use his hair to hide the scar on his face, something that while Eivor understood just couldn't continue.   
Ivarr had survived horrible things, things he would never forget but he couldn't hide from them.   
"You trust me, don't you?", Eivor asked, receiving another nod, this time without hesitancy.   
And so after cutting Ivarr's hair, he gently shaved the side of his head where he knew the scar to be.   
The Dane didn't object though Eivor knew that this had to be challenging for him. 

He made sure to be extra gentle with Ivarr for the rest of the night, kissing along each and every scar while telling him that he was beautiful in all the words and languages he knew until Ivarr rolled his eyes and pushed him away laughing.   
They really had come a long way. 

After Ivarr had already fallen asleep, Eivor laid awake, plagued by worry.   
Ivarr was unpredictable even for him.   
Would he accept that they had to return?   
Would he refuse?   
But the real question was: Would he stay with Eivor when they returned? 

Maybe that was what he was so afraid of, that Ivarr would leave him to fulfill his destiny.   
Eivor couldn't blame him. He had a clan to lead in his brother's absence, had duties and responsibilities to his people.   
And Ivarr had brothers in England, Halfdan and Ubba, maybe he'd want to rejoin them, revive the Great Heathen Army to conquer England or to take his revenge for King Rhodri had done. 

Eivor sighed, watching as Ivarr's chest rose and fell with every calm breath that he took.   
So many nights he had lain awake and feared that suddenly it would not rise again.   
Now he laid awake and feared that he would not be there to witness it.   
He feared that one day, maybe many winters from now he'd hear word that Ivarr the Boneless had fallen in battle and that this would be one of the last moments he got to share with the Ragnarsson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all can at least end this year on a good note💕  
> Feel free to let me know your thoughts about this stories so far, I'm always glad when people interact with my stuff I guess😂


	9. Chapter 9

As much as Eivor had wished otherwise, time still passed after Ivarr had left.  
Before he knew it, spring turned to summer, the young grass and leaves turning a dark green before they faded to reds and oranges once more.  
Autumn painted the fields golden as the days slowly started to get colder and shorter.

Eivor still missed Ivarr often but over time his longing faded to a dull ache, one that he mostly pushed to the back of his mind as he worked.   
Eivor knew that Ivarr had since reunited with his older brother, Ubba, and just yesterday Randvi had told him that together they had taken Repton.  
"The brothers Ragnarsson would be a valuable alliance to our clan", she had concluded her report.   
Randvi knew better than most how much Ivarr's departure had pained him.   
Many times she had suggested that Eivor take some time of and seek him out but Eivor had refused each time. He had to put his Clan first as much as it hurt.

Sigurd was still missing and Eivor had abandoned his duties for too long already.   
But now he had a chance to help his clan and meet Ivarr again.  
And still he couldn't find it in himself to agree right away.

But that night Eivor thought back to their last goodbye.

_Gentle waves knocked against the wood of their longship as the wind carried it forward._   
_The crew was asleep but despite the silence, Eivor did not feel at peace._   
_Tomorrow they would once again reach England's shores, a moment he remembered longing for the first time he had set out to explore this unfamiliar land with his brother._

_Now it seemed like this inevitable goodbye. Like looming disaster maybe._

_He glanced over at Ivarr, the Dane calmly sharpening his axe in the pale moonlight._   
_The Ragnarsson had not even hesitated to agree to return to England, dead set on getting his revenge._   
_And Eivor understood, of course he did. He knew better than anyone else how Ivarr had suffered and he'd do anything in his power to help him make Rhodri pay but he couldn't bear the thought of losing Ivarr in the process._   
_Eivor quietly moved over to where he sat, taking the axe from his hands and handing him some food instead._   
_Ivarr smiled slightly, leaning against the older man's side when he offered him his cloak._   
_"Will you leave for Repton right away?", Eivor asked, placing a kiss on top of Ivarr's head._   
_Ivarr just nodded._   
_"My brothers, Ubbe and Halfdan... They must think I'm dead... "_

_With each stroke of the oars, Eivor's heart grew heavier._   
_He was conflicted. He wanted to hold on to Ivarr, ask him to stay, tell him that he needed him but on the other he knew that he wasn't worth Ivarr's destiny._   
_He was lucky enough that the thread of his life had crossed with that of a Ragnarsson._

_"Will I ever see you again?" he found himself asking as the Dane got on his horse. He had tried to convince Ivarr to stay just one more night but the Dane had shook his head, telling him that if he stayed this night he'd stay another and another and another. Eivor had wanted to ask if that would be a bad thing but the look on Ivarr's scarred face had been enough to silence him._   
_"I'd hope so", Ivarr held onto his hand for a moment._   
_"Thank you, Wolf Kissed. I will never forget what you did for me."_

Morning came before Eivor had the chance to close his eyes.   
When he rose from his bed, after a few futile attempts to sleep for at least a few hours, Mouse got up from his spot as well, looking at Eivor curiously.   
Much to his surprise the wolf had chosen to stay with Norse despite how attached he had become to the Ragnarsson.   
Eivor found that he was was glad because in a way it felt as though a part of Ivarr had stayed with him and the wolf had a way of making him feel less lonely.   
He petted him gently then left his house to find something to eat.

He was conflicted still, knowing that seeing Ivarr again might just rip open a wound that had only now started to heal.   
But maybe, just maybe, seeing the Dane again was worth the pain.   
And an alliance between the Ragnarssons and the Raven Clan could indeed be favorable in times of need.   
They had influence, so much that most Dane's would follow them into battle without question.

In the end it was the second argument that he offered to Randvi when he drove the dagger into the map, pledging to Ledecesterscire.   
He had no doubt that Randvi saw right through him but she merely crossed her arms and raised a judgemental eyebrow.

Eivor offered her an uneasy smile, suddenly feeling rather nervous.   
He had spent the better part of a year with Ivarr, had seen him vulnerable, frustrated, angry, sad, happy, hopeless, hopeful, calm, nostalgic, in about any state there was and yet he felt like a small boy about to confess his love to his sweetheart.   
Maybe it was the fact that the same amount of time thar they had spent together had passed since they had parted ways that made Eivor so nervous.   
Maybe deep down he feared that Ivarr had found someone else, someone that could put him first.

He was a Ragnarsson after all. He could have just about anyone he wanted.

This whole idea had been a mistake, Eivor decided as he got onto his horse early that afternoon. But it was too late to back out now or rather he didnt want to explain to Randvi that he was passing up on a possible alliance because he was scared that Ivarr Ragnarsson had replaced him.   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a connective chapter so yeah... Not much content hope you still like it tho😅


	10. Chapter 10

Eivor reached Repton the very same day.  
It wasn't far from the settlement, which had always made Eivor's decision to stay away from Ivarr harder.  
But he had managed until now.

He wasn't sure what he had expected when he had arrived there but a man begging for his life as he hung upside down from the ceiling had not been it.  
His eyes quickly fell on Ivarr.  
He still looked the same. Of course he did. Only a year had passed.  
The Dane's eyes soon fell on him and for a second he stopped, looking surprised.  
Eivor swallowed, his gaze shifting to the tattoos that now adorned Ivarr's chest and abdomen.  
He looked healthier now that he was no longer just scars and skin and bones.  
Then again, to Eivor he had always been beautiful. 

The Ragnarsson soon regained his composure, walking a few steps in Eivor's direction before remembering his prisoners.  
"Spies", he told him, gesturing in their direction, "Ubba has grown soft... Not so long ago no one would have even thought of trying something like this. Not with the sons of Ragnar."  
Eivor was too stunned to react but Ivarr slipped back into his role with ease.  
"Do you know of Ragnar, Saxon piggies?", Ivarr asked, guiding one of the spies over to where the other still hung. The blind man shook his head, flinching hard when Ivarr touched him but the Dane just smirked as he guided the sword the blind man held into the other's flesh.  
"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?", Ivarr asked, handing the blind spy a coin before letting the other down quickly enough to break his neck on the stone floor. 

Eivor frowned as he looked at the body.  
This was not the Ivarr he had saved. He was a product of his pain and frustration.  
The Norse wasn't sure how he was meant to feel about that.  
It had been a spy, sure but torturing them without the goal to gain information seemed cruel. 

Ivarr stood next to him suddenly, close enough to touch, close enough to hug, close enough to kiss but Eivor just stared at him.  
"I'm here for an alliance.. Between the sons if Ragnar and the Raven Clan"  
Ivarr's smirk disappeared suddenly and he moved back a few steps.  
"My brother does the talking", he mumbled, heading for the door without another word. 

Eivor followed him silently, biting his lip.  
This had not gone as he had planned even though he wasn't sure what he had expected coming here. To pick up where they had left off?  
Ivarr didn't need him anymore, he was perfectly fine on his own.  
And Eivor had his duties, his responsibility for his clan...  
Deep down he knew that it was merely his cowardice that made him cling to his clan so tightly. Randvi was more than capable enough to take care of most of their business and being with Ivarr wouldn't take up every hour of every day either.  
Still he said nothing and had he paid closer attention he could have seen the thinly veiled disappointment in Ivarr's blue eyes.  
But he didn't. 

Ubba seemed like a decent enough man. He was nothing like the Ivarr he had just met moments ago.  
A man that sought to settle in peace rather than conquer and clearly a man with patience by the way he had dealt with that sellsword challenging him earlier.  
He told Eivor of King Burgred and how they intended to replace him with one of their own pawns. 

Eivor's attention kept wandering to Ivarr who was leaning against the table, muscular arms crossed over his chest.  
Oh, how much he wished to just reach out and feel it.  
But he contained himself, redirecting his attention to Ubba's words time and time again. 

Ivarr left before he had the chance to speak to him in private. 

"He told me that you saved him", Ubba spoke up, "but he never told me what happened."  
"He had his reasons", Eivor replied, sighing as he faced the older Ragnarsson.  
"Is he doing alright?"  
"He always had problems controlling his temper but there is something dark within him now. Sometimes I fear it might swallow him whole", Ubba replied, a worried expression taking over his face.  
"I think I know what you mean... Maybe I should speak to him."  
Ubba hummed in agreement.  
"He spends a lot of time by the river, away from everyone else" 

That was where he found him, barely visible in the darkness.  
If not for the full moon, Eivor would have missed him.  
The Norse sat down next to Ivarr silently, looking out at the river's rippling surface.  
For a while he didn't know what to say, again he felt like a child, clumsy with words.  
"Your brother told me I might find you here... He worries about you, you know?"  
Ivarr chuckled bitterly, taking a swing from his ale.  
"He worries that I might interrupt his talking... There's a difference, Wolf-Kissed."  
"But I worry about you. You've changed."  
Ivarr scoffed, keeping his gaze trained on the water.  
"Of course I've changed."  
"I know better than anyone that you have every reason to be you suffered-"  
"You know nothing! You don't know how much it still hurts to just walk!"  
The limp, Eivor had noticed it earlier, another reminder from his stay with Rhodri. The Briton King had made Ivarr suffer much but breaking his legs to keep him from trying anything had been one of the most cruel things Ivarr had been willing to tell him about.  
"You don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and feel his hands on you!"  
Except for that. That had been worse.  
Eivor pulled the Dane close before the first tears fell, placing a kiss on top of his head.  
He couldn't be mad at Ivarr, not even in the slightest, because the Dane was right. Yes, a part of him wanted to scream back: that he had been with him every step of the way. That he had done everything in his power to make him feel better but that didn't change the fact that he didn't know what Ivarr truly felt. 

Ubba didn't know what had happened to his little brother which meant that Ivarr had been carrying this burden all on his own, forced to just deal with the pain and the nightmares and the memories.  
"Hush now. Don't cry, my sweet Ivarr. I'm here", he mumbled, taking the cup from Ivarr's hands.  
"You should rest. I'll stay with you and tomorrow we can talk."  
Ivarr just nodded tiredly, burying his face against Eivor's neck.  
He really had been a fool to leave the Dane alone with all his troubles. 

When Eivor tucked him into his bed and took his place next to him, it was Ivarr who spoke first.  
Maybe it was the alcohol that spoke in that moment, Eivor would never really know for sure but it didn't matter. 

"I missed you so much."  
it was little more than a whisper but they were back where they belonged.  
In each other's arms.  
And maybe, just maybe Eivor could guide Ivarr away from the darkness once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not gonna be an endless story don't worry.  
> Also I'd like to remind you all that Ivarr is younger here seeing as he and Eivor met way earlier. I still kept the storyline roughly the way it is in the game seeing as it would be a nightmare to research everything for a different time period when there's a thousand answers to everything.  
> Also peak me trying very hard to make my little psycho bby somewhat more understandable.


	11. Chapter 11

Waking up next to Ivarr once more felt natural, right, despite how much time had passed since Eivor had last been able to do so.  
Judging by the slow and even pattern of his breathing, the Dane was asleep still, head tucked against Eivor's neck.  
Eivor was careful to not disturb him when he raised his head to peer out of the window only to find that the sun had not yet risen.

The Norse sighed, knowing that he would not be able to go back to sleep, at least not for a while.  
Ivarr stirred slightly but was quick to settle once more when Eivor laid down his head again. 

Back when he had first brought Ivarr to Ravensthorpe, there had been many nights when the young Dane had woken from a nightmare and kicked or punched him before he noticed that it was just Eivor.  
But at the same time he had not been able to fall asleep without the taller man there to hold him.  
Eivor had felt needed then and so he had accepted the bruises and chosen to still be there for him.  
But those times were past them now. 

Eivor looked around the room once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness.  
Earlier he had barely paid attention to the place, too focused on making sure that Ivarr was guiding him to the right house and the wouldn't end up in some random man's home because of his drunken ramblings. 

At first he had been surprised that Ivarr hadn't joined his brother in what could pass as the longhouse of Repton but after seeing the state he was in last night it was reasonable for Ivarr to get a place further away from anyone or anything. 

But it was still strange to choose this house in Eivor's opinion.  
It wasn't a big house and it was furnished only scarsely, something that seemed a little odd for someone as influencial as a Ragnarsson. 

Eivor was just glad to find that the bed was big enough for both of them.  
He could see one of Ivarr's axes lying on the table, the other discarded somewhere on the floor with most of their clothing-Eivor's rather hopeless attempt to make the Dane more comfortable though it was unlikely that it made any difference to Ivarr. 

There were a few small throwing knifes within reach and Eivor could make out a spear leaning against a wall next to the bed but aside from that there seemed to be nothing in the room.  
He sighed again, placing a kiss on top of Ivarr's head before closing his eyes again and trying to go back to sleep. 

Somehow the fact that Ivarr kept weapons so close by even when he slept didn't sit right with him.  
On one hand he could understand of course, they were in hostile land but on the other hand Ivarr was with his kin, his clan.  
Eivor would trust all his people enough to just place his axe on the table closest to the door.  
Perhaps it was just that he had never needed a weapon close by when Eivor had still been with him that bothered the Norse.  
This strange feeling in Eivor's gut could very well be regret for abandoning the Ragnarsson.  
Sleep claimed him once more before he could ponder that question. 

The next time the Norse awoke he found the spot next to him empty and cold. Ivarr must have left a while ago already.  
Slowly, he rose from the bed, grabbing his cloak and weapons on the way out. 

The Norse took a moment to admire the lively townsfolk. The weather was rather pleasant, still warm but not uncomfortably so. There were a few clouds in the sky but they did not disturb the warm sunlight.  
Soon he found himself in a market place. Traders were advertising their wares in English as well as in old Norse and Eivor found that he felt right at home there.  
He took some time browsing through the wares, eventually picking out an apple.  
Then, as he was about to leave, something else caught his eye. 

Eivor had hoped to catch Ivarr alone somewhere but no such luck. Instead he found him by the docks, talking to his brother. 

When Eivor arrived, they both turned though Ivarr was quick to excuse himself when Ubba greeted him, claiming that he had to see to the horses.  
The older man was pretty sure Ivarr just wanted to avoid the inevitable: a conversation about what had happened last night but that could wait a little longer. 

In front of Burgred's fortress Eivor once more got to see Ivarr Ragnarsson the way the world saw him, confident, brutal, fearless but the Norse could see through the cracks in the mask he put on.  
He feared for Ivarr's sanity, had done so ever since he had freed him from Rhodri. Many times Eivor had utilized Ivarr's anger, his hunger for revenge, as a means to keep him from giving up. But now it seemed as though it had corrupted his mind. Then again who was Eivor to blame him? He could never do that.  
No, Ivarr had suffered the unspeakable and had adapted.  
He had built a reputation for himself that reached beyond just his father's name. 

He watched the Dane closely as they fought to take the fortress, always staying within reach in case he'd need help but Ivarr was a skilled warrior, brutal and agile.  
He didn't need Eivor. 

Until he did.  
It was after the battle when they had taken Burgred and Leofrith prisoner that Ivarr's facade began to crumble.  
It was the subtle hints, invisible to anyone but Eivor.  
It was the way Ivarr winced slightly when he walked, the way he removed himself from the crowd, looking around from time to time.  
When he slipped out of the Great Hall, escaping the celebration, Eivor was ready. 

He found Ivarr outside the walls, far from the noise, and once again sat down next to him.  
"Why did you leave this morning?", Eivor asked, looking at the Dane.  
"What else should I have done?", Ivarr replied simply, his gaze not leaving the moon that stood high in the sky.  
"I told you that we needed to talk."  
"Then talk."  
"I chose the wrong words yesterday and for that I am sorry. You are different now but I understand why. I just want you to know that it changes nothing. I still love you the same and if you want me to, then I will help you to take your revenge."  
Ivarr looked at him for a while, not speaking, then he sighed.  
"I see him sometimes, you know? In the shadows or in the crowds, always taunting me. Even in my dreams."  
"Does Ubba know?"  
Ivarr shook his head no.  
"Not all of it... Everyone else thinks I sailed back home to Denmark."  
A short silence followed.  
"Why did you never come?"  
There it was again, the vulnerability that Ivarr tried so hard to hide.  
Eivor had told him so many times that he would never think him weak and still Ivarr had often chosen to be silent about things that were weighing him down until he broke under the weight of them.  
"I didn't think you would want me to", Eivor replied honestly, "you're a son of Ragnar. Out of all those you could have, why would you want me?"  
"Because you understand and I needed you. I needed someone to understand."  
"I'm here now", Eivor replied, taking one of Ivarr's hands into his own. It was a weak response to try and lessen the guilt that he already felt. He had abandoned Ivarr because of his own cowardice.  
"Sometimes I hate what I have become...but I don't deserve their love or their pity so they have to fear me because if they fear me no one will ever...", Ivarr stopped, getting caught on what he had wanted to say.  
The older man just squeezed his hand reassuringly, showing him that he had understood nevertheless.  
"Oh Ivarr...", Eivor frowned, pulling the younger into his arms gently. He wanted to say more, to comfort him but he could not find the words just yet so he waited, placing kisses on the top of Ivarr's head until he was sure that he'd be alright.  
Only then he reached into his pocket, pulling out his finds.  
"I saw them this morning at the market", he mumbled, letting Ivarr take a look at the silver armrings. The Dane traced the patterns, fascinated at how delicate they were.  
"It seemed like fate that I found them today because I wanted to make you a promise", Eivor started, taking the arms ring with the engraved raven heads and holding it out to him.  
"I swear to you that I will never let my cowardice keep me from you ever again. And I swear that should you need my aid I will come."  
Ivarr took the armrings carefully, a soft smile on his face.  
"And this shall be my reminder", Eivor continued, taking the arm ring with the engraved wolves for himself. 

"Will you help me kill him?", the Dane asked after a while, looking up at Eivor.  
"Of course I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I go for the cheesy matching jewelry? Yes I did. I'd Eivor broke now? Yep. Was it worth it? Definitely.
> 
> I also want to thank you all for the positive feedback, the comments, kudos, bookmarks, everything. It really makes my day even though I'm usually too stressed to write anything back(😅), know that I read every single comment and have a minor freak out over them. 😂💕


	12. Chapter 12

"Come to bed, Ivarr. Your axe isn't going to grow legs and run away from you" , Eivor grumbled, starting to grow rather frustrated with the Dane, who was sharpening his axe and by doing so was effectively preventing Eivor from getting any sleep.   
"I'm not tired", the younger objected, though the dark bags under his eyes told a different tale. 

They had returned to Repton four days ago, after Burgred had been exiled and Ceolwulf had been crowned the new puppet king of Mercia, and since then Eivor had not seen his lover sleep save for a few short naps.   
His lover was completely absorbed in his revenge plot now.   
Devising strategies with his most loyal warriors and spies, training with Eivor or sharpening his axes.   
It was all he thought about, all he talked about, all he seemed to care about really. 

On one hand Eivor was glad for the distraction.   
Ivarr was too busy to fall victim to his fears again but now Eivor worried about different things.   
He worried that Ivarr would lose himself in this quest, that maybe he would never even get to have the revenge he so desperately wanted.   
So the Norse did whatever he could to stop the Dane from just dropping dead one day.   
He told himself that it was only until Rhodri was dead because then all would be well again and Ivarr would be able to really return to the life he had been forced to abandon. But some part of him doubted that that would ever happen. 

But that was a problem for another day. For now all he could do was make sure Ivarr ate and drank enough and try his best to get him to rest, the latter so far without much success. 

"You look tired", Eivor replied after letting him continue for a while, rising from his spot on the bed to stand closer to him, "you're worrying me."   
It was no use lying to the Dane.   
Eivor worried, he always did and Ivarr knew that too.   
Ivarr didn't say that though, allowing the Norse to take the axe from his hands.   
"Now come to bed", Eivor instructed calmly, taking Ivarr's hand instead.   
The Dane rolled his eyes but complied, letting Eivor lead him over to the bed without the usual protest. 

"You are worse than Ubba", he grumbled as Eivor tucked him in, wrapping his arms around him in case the Dane had plans to sneak off once Eivor was asleep.   
It wouldn't be the first time that that had happened.   
"We worry about you. That's all"   
Eivor sighed, placing a kiss on Ivarr's temple to which the younger mumbled something under his breath.   
"Well someone has to, considering that you obviously don't do it yourself. Now sleep or I'll have to knock you out", The Norse warned jokingly. 

Joke or not, it worked and after some more grumbling the younger finally closed his eyes. 

When he was sure the younger was not just feigning sleep but was actually getting some rest this time, Eivor closed his eyes as well. 

His sleep however was anything but restful.   
His dreams were dark, though he could not remember much of them other than crows screaming at first. Then the dreams got clearer and he could see a battlefield in front of him.   
The air was heavy with the scent of blood but it was awfully silent aside from the crows. There was no metal clashing with metal, no screaming, nothing.   
Eivor walked over the field slowly, his steps hindered by something but he could not move his head to look what it was.   
Then he could see Ivarr in front of him, bloodied but grinning from ear to ear.   
Eivor smiled, walking towards him but he didn't get far before he could see another person moving towards him, a shadow at first but Eivor recognized him quickly. It was Rhodri.   
Eivor tried to move faster, motivated by the desire to finally drive a dagger into that bastard's fat neck but he never managed. The ground was pulling him closer, forcing him to stop.   
He could do nothing but watch as Rhodri reached Ivarr, the Dane powerless in his grip as he slit his throat.   
Eivor finally looked down only to find the ground covered in a sea of blood. People, their people, lay slaughtered and among them he saw Ivarr again, blue eyes opened wide but unseeing. 

Eivor woke with a gasp, startling Ivarr in the process. The Dane grabbed the axe that was placed closest to him without a moment's hesitation, only to realize that there was no threat there.   
At least not one the axe would help against.   
Eivor was still a little shaken but he got a grip for Ivarr's sake.   
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you", he mumbled, placing the axe back where it had been earlier.   
Ivarr just nodded though it was clear that he wanted to say something.   
In the end he didn't, laying down in Eivor's arms again when the Norse offered it. 

Ivarr wasn't good at comforting people, never had been as he had told Eivor once, but the older found that just holding him, feeling his heart beat under his fingertips was enough comfort for now.   
He was sure that Ivarr knew that too and that that was why he chose to go back to sleep willingly, without asking any questions. 

Still the dream loomed over Eivor.   
Often times he had been told that they could be signs, glimpses into the future.   
Their fate had been spun long ago so it made sense that one could see what lay ahead.   
And with Ivarr readying to march against Rhodri soon it wasn't just some dream, some part of a distant future. No, it was a very real risk. 

But he couldn't tell Ivarr not to take his revenge. Especially not just because of a dream. No, he'd have to find a different way.


	13. Chapter 13

After his nightmare a few nights ago, Ivarr had been sticking around more.   
He didn't leave Eivor's side anymore, really but it was mutual. Neither of them wanted to let the other out of their sight and so they stayed together.   
They woke up next to one another, found themselves something to eat, trained together etger, went over the strategy together, ate together and then went to sleep together.   
But the more they talked about their attack on Rhodri, the more worry Eivor felt.   
The nightmares were frequent now, always the same though the method Rhodri used to kill Ivarr was different each time. 

Eivor had stopped trying to go back to sleep after a nightmare instead he just lay awake, waiting for the sun to rise once more. 

Ivarr had once told him that he would gladly die if it meant getting his revenge. What Rhodri had done to him, it would die with the Britton king, it had to or Ivarr would never find his peace.   
Eivor wanted him to close this tragic chapter of his life, he really did but losing Ivarr? One year without him had be the worst torture how would he fare if it were for the rest of his life? 

Ivarr looked at him that very moment, blue eyes sharp and focused.   
Eivor had gotten so used to seeing them in his dreams, unseeing, lifeless, sometimes it was hard to look at them.   
"Eivor? What do you think?"   
The Norse finally managed to regain his grasp on the situation, looking up to find Ivarr's warriors staring at him expectantly.   
He sighed, joining Ivarr by the table where they had spread out a map of Rhodri's kingdom.   
He had tried his best to stay out of these things, hoping that by some miracle Ivarr would abandon his plan and find a different purpose for his life. 

"We will strike in five days. Rhodri is hosting a feast here", Ivarr explained, pointing at the map, "Custow Castle."   
Poetic really, Eivor mused. It had been in that castle that he had first met Ivarr, wounded, beaten, defeated but proud. A true Ragnarsson.   
Eivor hummed in agreement because what else was there to do?   
"You don't sound convinced, Wolf-Kissed", it sounded more like a careless tease but in Ivarr's eyes he could see concern plain as day.   
"I was just thinking of something. That's all." 

"You haven't been yourself lately."   
They were alone in Ivarr's house once more.   
"How so?", Eivor asked, placing a kiss on Ivarr's forehead as he laid down next to him.   
"You seem distant. Is it the plan?"   
"No, no, it's just--I worry for you."   
"You always do that but you don't have to. I'm a drengr, not a child."  
"Are you sure about that?", Eivor teased, trying to distract his lover from the subject.   
Ivarr hit him on the shoulder lightly, definitely not amused.   
"You're hiding something."   
"And you're hallucinating", Eivor returned, placing a kiss on his lips this time in hopes of shutting him up. He didn't want to fight. 

Luckily for him Ubba interrupted them before Ivarr could remember the initial question.   
Ivarr ended up joining his older brother in the end while Eivor chose to stay behind.   
He didn't get involved in their family business much or at least tried not to. 

Five days. Five days until he'd know whether his nightmares would become reality and he didn't know what to do.   
He could try and delay the attack but he had no reason to do so really.   
Besides, there was nothing that would stand in Ivarr's way. 

Perhaps it was time to let Ivarr go. The Ragnarsson had achieved greatness in his few years already and Eivor had no doubt that Odin would welcome him in his hall. 

For Ivarr it would surely be a relief. He was still struggling with what had happened to him, would probably always be. It was this shadow looming over even his happy days and no matter how hard he tried, Eivor would only ever be able to distract him for a time.   
Some day he'd have to return to Ravensthorpe, to his village, to his clan and Ivarr would be alone again so who was he to hold him in this life for his own selfish reasons?   
Who was he to expect Ivarr to give up Valhalla when he could not even give up his clan for him? 

The Dane had offered him to stay with their army as an advisor and Eivor knew that he'd be able to live a happy life in that position but still he had denied the offer.   
As much as he might want to, he had a duty towards his brother, his brother who was still missing.   
And when they'd find him again he'd have a duty towards his jarl. 

So why could he not let Ivarr go? 

He knew that Ivarr wanted to, that after avenging his father he was ready to accept his fate but he was still young.   
That was probably it. Ivarr was just too young. 

None of it mattered. Their fate was written and Eivor could only watch as it unfolded. 

It was ridiculous to get this upset over a dream, yes, some of them were glimpses into the future but some of them were just manifestations of fears and worries.   
The gods knew that he had enough of those. 

Eivor sighed deeply, deciding to go see if Ivarr and Ubba were finished already. After all he had been caught up in his thoughts for quite a while now. 

He met Ivarr just as he left the longhouse.   
"Perfect timing"   
"For what exactly?", Ivarr asked, crossing his arms over his chest.   
"For me to whisk you away for the evening"   
Ivarr stared at him for a moment.   
"What? You're the one that always complains about Repton being a shit hole so let's leave it behind us. Only for this night.   
The Dane sighed but nodded, following Eivor. 

Eivor didn't know whether they would both live but he didn't feel as troubled now, deciding to make the best of the time they had for certain.


	14. Chapter 14

"When my time comes, I will be ready"  
It was the night before the battle when Ivarr said these words to him and he looked so at peace with everything that Eivor believed him. 

Thunder rumbled in the distance, bringing with it cool wind that swept through their hair and caressed their faces. 

"I could have died a long time ago... Wished to even but fate guided you to me and you risked it all to save me."  
"I'd do it all again", Eivor replied truthfully.  
"I know. And still I ask you not to."  
Eivor swallowed but remained silent. He knew that he could not change fate, no matter how hard he might try.  
"You have given me everything, Eivor, don't give your life for me too."  
"I would. Gladly."  
"I know"

Thunder crashed again, closer this time, as the wind picked up but they remained seated, knowing deep inside that they would never have to fear Thor's wrath. 

"You once told me that I will always have your heart... Keep me in it but do not let it die with me. " 

He had seen a very different Ivarr that night, one that wasn't burdened with troubles and grievances too great for his short life. It was what the Ragnarsson could have been like, had his fate been a little kinder. 

Now he was looking at Ivarr the Boneless, a warrior unlike any he had ever seen, flying a banner that instilled fear in the Britons before they even knew which of the great Ragnarssons had come to their doors. 

Eivor watched his lover as he fought, laughing and screaming, with his face covered in blood. He had never seen him fight like that, not with this much fury.  
But he lost sight of him when one of the soldiers managed to push him down the side of a building.  
They both fell into the darkness together. 

Eivor was slow to open his eyes. His head ached but he had gotten lucky and would carry little more than a few bruises from this fall.  
It took even longer for him to notice how dead silent it had gotten around him. The smell of battle was still fresh in the air but he could hear no axes, no swords, no screaming, just the crows.  
Eivor's blood ran cold as he pulled himself back up onto ground that had served as their battlefield.  
Bodies were strewn around, Danes and Britons alike and there in the chaos he could see Ivarr's Banner, the Banner of the Heathen Army.  
Eivor dropped his axes without meaning to, icy shudders running down his back.  
Was Ivarr dead? Had his nightmares come true after all? 

"Eivor!", The Norse was sure that he had never turned around so fast in all his life as he had in that moment, "There you are. We have Rhodri cornered-"  
Ivarr didn't get to finish his sentence before he was pulled into a tight hug. Eivor could feel tears stinging in his eyes as the shock slowly subsided and he managed to pull away a little to look at his lover.  
"Thank the gods you are safe", Eivor breathed, placing a kiss on Ivarr's forehead. The Dane huffed.  
"Of course I am. You? That's another story. But now come I have unfinished business. 

Eivor struggled to stay his axe when he looked Rhodri in the face after all this time.  
" So it was you all along. The great Ivarr Ragnarsson, my prisoner... Tell me Eivor.. Does he still bite when you plow him."  
Eivor would have thrown his axe and buried it right in Rhodri's skull if not for Ivarr's hand on his own.  
The Dane seemed calm but Eivor could tell that some part of him was reliving the past once more.  
" I have to do this", he told him in their language, taking his hand off Eivor's just to throw his own axe.  
It hit Rhodri's cup, knocking it right out of his hand.  
The fight that followed was short.  
Of course Rhodri had been able to overpower Ivarr.  
Eivor had seen the exact moment the Dane had faltered, just a split second where his memories had seemingly caught up to him but it was enough for Rhodri to push the Dane down on one of the benches.  
Eivor wanted to step in when he set him on fire but before he could Ivarr had already stood up again, flames dancing around him as he laughed and screamed.  
It was as though he couldn't even feel the heat. For a brief moment Eivor thought that it must've been the gods helping the Ragnarsson with his vengeance but really it was indifferent to him as long as Ivarr was still breathing. 

"I told you I was fine", Ivarr huffed as Eivor looked him over again, checking his body for burns and other wounds. "And I have learned not to trust you", Eivor retorted, "Remember when you insisted that you were fine that one time I told you not to go out hunting?"  
The Dane rolled his eyes.  
"I spent almost an entire afternoon looking for you so forgive me if I don't trust you." 

"He isn't dead yet", Ivarr spoke up after Eivor had convinced himself that he was fine. The joking mood was gone once more replaced with one more fitting for the occasion.  
"Will you help me with getting him up to the mountaintop?"  
"Of course", Eivor nodded, going to get the body. 

Eivor didn't judge his lover for choosing such a cruel way of executing Rhodri. After all no amount of pain would ever compensate for what he had suffered at that man's hands.  
He could see how with each cut Ivarr's burden seemed to lessen and when they raised the fallen king up together, tears glistened in Ivarr's blue eyes despite the smile on his lips. 

Now he was finally free. He'd never be who was before again but the sadness and the fear that had followed him around for so long seemed almost gone.  
Eivor wrapped him in his arms, his own smile matching Ivarr's because he would always share these things with him. He had and would always share his burdens, his sadness, his anger, his happiness. 

"My dragon", Eivor mumbled, placing a kiss on the shaved side of Ivarr's head, "even though you're a bit small", he added teasingly, chuckling when Ivarr lifted his head off his shoulder just to glare at him.  
"No, I like it. It suits you, little dragon."  
It was like a weight had been lifted off of both their shoulders now that Rhodri was finally dead. Maybe now they could live a different life away from past sorrows. 

"Drink with me, would you?", Ivarr asked as they rode back to the castle.  
Eivor didn't plan to leave for Ravensthorpe before the next morning, so he nodded.  
He wished he'd be able to stay longer but Sunniva had found them a day before the battle, telling Eivor that they might have found clues to Sigurd's whereabouts.  
"How could I ever deny a king, eh?"  
Ivarr chuckled at that, slowing his horse down to a stop so he could dismount.  
"I'm no king-"  
"I know, I know. You're a drengr", Eivor interrupted, pecking the younger's lips as he passed him.  
Ivarr huffed but Eivor didn't miss the smile threatening to show itself. 

"So will you take the crown?", Eivor asked once they had sat down at a table.  
They were alone up here, the stars shining above and the torches burning below.  
Ivarr picked up his cup, circling it in his hand a few times.  
"I don't think I will. I'm not cut out for these things. Politics", he made a dismissive gesture, "all the talking. That's Ubba's thing and not even he wishes to sit on a throne himself."  
"But you could settle down somewhere, no?"  
Ivarr smiled, his eyes glinting in the flickering candlelight.  
"Find a wife and have children, is that what you mean?"  
Eivor shrugged. The thought of Ivarr marrying someone didn't sit right with him. Especially not after the moment they had shared before the battle.  
Ivarr chuckled, taking a swing from his cup.  
"Jealous, Wolf-Kissed? Come on, you know me better than this. My hugr lives off of the sword song, not the screaming of children."  
"I'll drink to that", Eivor smiled slightly, raising his cup, "Skål."  
"Though I have to admit.. That shield-maiden... That blonde one"  
Eivor could tell the younger was teasing and rolled his eyes dramatically.  
"We both know she's too good for you", Eivor taunted.  
"And that's why I had to settle for you"  
They both laughed, drinking together. 

"Ivarr? I- I have to ask you something", Eivor started, wanting to get this thing out of the way before they were too drunk.  
Ivarr gestured for him to go ahead, downing the rest of his cup.  
"Would you consider coming to Ravensthorpe with me?"  
The Dane sighed, not speaking for a while. 

Eivor had thought much about the offer. It was hopeless almost but if Ivarr didn't plan to stay here and be king then maybe he'd consider it. He could join Eivor's Raiders and they'd be together. Not just a few days a month. 

"Eivor, you've done a lot for me. You saved my life more than once and you know that you will always have my gratitude. But my place is with my warriors. I'm not suited for a quiet life and I know that that is ultimately your goal. Settle. Besides... I can not leave my brother. I'm sure you understand that"  
Eivor could only nod, trying to hide his disappointment. He had expected nothing different but it still stung.  
"Don't pull that face. You have the best mead in all of Midgard so you will definitely see me around."  
"And you'll always be welcome."  
"Just as you will always be welcome in whatever shithole I may be residing. " 

"I will always keep you in my heart", Eivor spoke after a while, looking right into Ivarr's eyes.  
The Dane smiled slightly but genuinely.  
"And you will always have a place in mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it my friends, we've reached the end and I'm getting emotional.  
> This is the longest story I've ever written (and finished) and I still can't believe all the positive feedback. Never thought so random 3am idea would get this far.
> 
> I'd also like to mention that Ivarr and Eivor met for every festival after this and they really did stick to their respective words this time, visiting each other as often as possible.
> 
> This story may be over now but this series isn't which means there will be more strange ideas coming that will have you thinking: 'is she on drugs?' I do have a new story in my head which I hope to start by the end of this week but we'll have to see if I manage.
> 
> In the meantime I'd love to hear your thoughts on this story(and any other really if you want to read them I kinda became an Eivarr writer😂) 💕


End file.
